Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Monday, March 18, 2013

It's OK to ask in prayer.

Ever hear someone downplay making requests in prayer because communion with God in prayer is enough? (A few contemporary worship songs come to mind.) Here's an interesting perspective, seasoned with humor, from an interview with Paul Miller, author of A Praying Life (NavPress), in By Faith (Q1:13). By Faith is a periodical from the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA).
The lingering influence of pietism in the evangelical church has tended to separate [asking and abiding.] Abiding has been seen as this almost mystical state that seems to hit really spiritual people. A good example of pietism is this quote from Augustine: "Ask nothing of God, but God Himself."
What's good about this? Augustine is putting God first. God Himself -- His love, His presence -- is His best gift to us.
What's bad about this? Augustine is disconnected from how love, God, and life work. Let me explain. Imagine a marriage where the husband really loves his wife. He is his wife's best earthly gift. I'm not being cynical. I really do see that in many strong marriage. Now imagine if the husband told his wife, "Honey, I don't want you to ask me for anything, because I'm your best gift." When I say this at our seminars, everyone laughs. They laugh because it is so disconnected from life. You can't separate being (the husband is his wife's best gift) from doing (what he does for her). That is, he shows his love to his wife by the many things he does for her -- how he listens, how he follows through, how he leads her.
Augustine's Neoplatonism tends to feed that separation from reality. In the Old Testament, God is not known abstractly; He is known through His mighty deeds, what He does -- like a good husband. Part of what we are doing is helping the church shed the abstractions of the Greek mind, returning the church to its holistic, Jewish roots.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Too late for Valentine's Day

Sifting through 12 days of newspaper links after coming home from Thailand, I found an interesting article on gift giving in a relationship. When Love Outgrows Gifts explains that gifts, defined as "an offering where you incur a cost but receive no direct or immediate benefit," play an important part in relationships but they do not have to be material gifts. You may find some useful information there if you're teaching about relationships of love languages.
"Ike and Mae Mosher, who have been married for 70 years, never established much of a traditional gift-giving ritual because they stretched their finances early in their relationship to support relatives."